How the Past Possesses the Future in the Night Sea Journey

I have a hard time comprehending time, so I’m going to try to work my way up to understanding my presence in the present by starting with my presence in space. 

I am tiny. Words like insignificant or miniscule have too much weight and prestige for how absolutely teensy weensy I am in the universe. You can’t even see me from cloud level, and if you Google Earth your way out further still you can’t see the hill I live on or even the town. If you look at that period at the end of the last sentence, that’s how small the planet I live on looks from Saturn, still well within our solar system. It’s how small the sun is compared to your galaxy of a computer monitor, the entirety of which you wouldn’t be able to see from cloud level, which still isn’t far enough out to be the edge of the universe. 

The point is (phrasing), I am of no consequence to the universe at large. In terms of space, the most significant thing a human has ever done was travel to the moon, which as discussed, is an itsy bitsy distance. The most influential humans in history have been largely fictional (not gonna name names) or were conquerors responsible for massive amounts of death. So unless I’m some kind of messiah or megalomaniac Machiavelli (or both?), I really shouldn’t bother worrying about things as trivial as the memory of my existence.  

Time on the other hand, makes me far more interesting. In the widdle blddy amount of time I will be alive for, I will have had non-stop access to what might just be the most incredible phenomenon in the universe: consciousness. In the 13.4 billion years of time that preceded my birth, the amount of impossible chances required for such a magnificently sophisticated form of order to arise from of a universe of chaos is a number truly incomprehensible, one that should go a long way towards convincing a person of their incredible luck at possessing such a wondrous thing all the time, a number too high to allow for anything other than utter humility and appreciation. But alas, it’s probably a little much to ask people to hear the word incomprehensible and think such optimistic things, to find solace and serenity in the unknown. 

As a person with several sperm to my name, I must say the Night Sea Journey is a pretty damn good example of the past possessing the present. Here I am, the result of countless previous successful night sea journeys, reading the stream of consciousness of not only what I was (Sperm Joe, if you will) but the stream of consciousness of what I still am (Person Joe, lost in a strange world, tryin’ to get lucky), and indeed the stream of consciousness of all those swimmers still waiting to swim, some of whom may succeed (hopefully not any time soon, that would be the wrong kind of present). 

What is Person Joe to do? He is so small in such a massive universe. He has no privilege, no rights to anything other than an opportunity to witness something marvelous and the obligation to appreciate it. However, he does want something, something in spite of all his luck and insignificance. He wants the universe to appreciate him back. Is there a more direct way for this to come about than when a person says “I love you” and means it? Isn’t that best thing that can happen to him? Isn’t that a pretty clear sign that a person’s actions have in some way aligned him/her with… something? I mean, if we really are so small (so small it doesn’t matter if I use the Royal We, because We are dust and the grammatical conventions of dust are ultimately of little weight) then to have the universe, even a piece of it as tinsy weensy as another human, say in audible words that it loves you is a massively significant event. 

There is nothing more liberating than insignificance for beings blessed with conscious minds as strange and wonderful as ours. Given the opportunity to do anything we can imagine for as long as we can survive to do it with no consequence to the universe as a whole should be all the gift necessary, but it gets better. We have the opportunity to represent the universe to the minds of those around us, shaping how they perceive their own present moments by how we engage with ours, and if we are lucky (which we are) then the present can be shared, a unified presence can be formed, and the experience of consciousness is elevated to a bliss state that we call love. 

Granted, none of this is news. But what I feel gets forgotten, and what is the source of any kinds of referential mania one might experience, is that this presence, the total attention to and appreciation of the present, can be easily induced without the voices of others simply through humility. The more one reflects on their own luck coupled with their insignificance, the simpler it becomes to see in the grass and trees the same beauty that catches one’s attention so much in the arms of love, but soon it becomes clear that a human is not just a witness to a massively wondrous universe, but a connected piece of it, as one can readily see themselves in their environment with the patience to understand what to look for. 

When one goes about questing to connect with the universe at large, it is easy to become distracted and separated from the full depth of the present moment. However, if one is careful (mostly of not being too careful), one can learn to use the lights and whistles of the distracted masses as cues to pay attention. I like to think of distractions as challenges, and I like to think of challenges as opportunities. 

Time is yours for the taking. You can either take your time or you can take your time. The only difference is how excited you are about doing it.

Dervations

I have yet to read past the first sentence of Northrop Frye’s Secular Scripture (although I have read it several times), but something Professor Sexson said in class caught my attention. He said that the book boiled human mythology down to two stories: the quest for an island and the sacrifice story. That allowed me to connect dots upon dots, and I think I may have, thanks largely to the Cosmology Lost reading, put together something noteworthy. 

There are particular myths that I will be referencing, mainly the story of the fall of Lucifer and the events of the Garden in Paradise Lost/Genesis, and the story of Rapunzel as explained by Cosmology Lost. I think we’ve covered fairly well in class how Rapunzel tells the story of the transition from asexual to sexual reproduction, the story of (interesting phrasing here) the rise of man: an (male) intruder betrays the natural order and in doing so creates the world. It starts with the brother/father’s upward quest to get into the garden, where he upsets the natural of order of things and evokes the wrath of the Hag. This story is repeated as the wandering Prince goes through a very dangerous upward quest before reaching the Maiden, changes her and evokes the wrath of the Hag.
(betrayal of the natural order). The story of the dangerous quest repeats for the Prince, and again when he reaches the Maiden she has changed, pregnant with twins this time, and the Kingdom is established. 

The idea of an unnatural betrayal is central here, as is an unknown/unwelcome intruder.

In Paradise Lost, and the book of Genesis to a large degree, the story of the (interesting phrasing) fall of man is told. Milton starts this story by describing the most heinous betrayal conceivable: revolting against God. Satan betrays Nature itself and is cast out into Hell to endure horrible psychological torments. Eventually though, Satan finds his way upward to Eden where he convinces Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge (changing the Maiden), and in doing so casts the descendants of Adam out into the world, thus closing the essential creation story of the Western world. 

The pattern of wandering leading to intrusion/betrayal/trespass leading to creation is significant. 

And of course, it continues. Cain betrays Able and his descendants wander the world. Noah’s ark is a clear example of the sexual reproduction mixed with the quest for shore pattern as well. There are many others the Night Swim being perhaps the best contemporary example: The sperm’s dangerous wandering in the dark looking for the Maiden, from which a new world (human) will be created.

I will posit that there is but one basic moral question central here in our heads (at least for men, as these stories, minus Rapunzel, are heavily influenced by a patriarchal worldview), and the answer to it decides whether the myth will be a quest for the island or a sacrifice story: is the hero willing to betray his brethren to reach the maiden?

If he says yes, he will engage the quest for the island, his sole intent is reaching it, and when he does he will have his Kingdom. This equates to doing whatever it takes to pass on your seed – the subconscious reptilian Id is the real guide, force and energy are required. 

If he says no, the hero will then become the sacrifice, the one willing to die so that his brothers may live on. This equates to staying in the conscious super-ego, losing the race to reproduce. On the surface it might be easy to say that this myth exits to satiate the reality of failure on the quest to the island, to make the losers feel good. However, it may also be that reproductive fitness does not define the worth of a human life, that we are able to ascend to something greater than the cycle of living, reproducing, and dying, the cycle of betrayal and creation, and that this myth is testament to the hero willing to the endure the painful and celibate life required to be released from this cycle. 

This clearly connects with many ideas central to Eastern religions, indicating that these archetypes may indeed by universal (limited to humans that is). The escape from the cycle of reincarnation is what Nirvana is, and with the epitome of the Western sacrifice story being Jesus, there seems to be intense similarities between the most desired human states across religions, across the globe. Going deeper, in the concept of the unnatural betrayal leading to creation lies a massive contradiction, one that ripples out in the Yin Yang symbol’s explanation of harmony resulting from contradiction, in order resulting from the chaos of the universe. Hell, the yin yang symbol looks a lot like DNA to me, picture the double helix spiraling (the golden ratio here in both symbols) out of the nested circles of opposite color. 

If those opposites, the Yin and the Yang, are analyzed, there arise more connections. Yang is the force, the energy, while Yin is the matter (which, thanks to Einstein, we know those to be the same thing, just altered states), or as I like to see it, the Yang is the force applied the strings of the Yin violin, resulting in music, or harmony, a word key to the symbol and music. Interesting, both the phrases, “God spoke and thus created the universe” and the “Big Bang” imply sonic beginnings for our universe. The Hebrew word for the name of God is (phonetically) Yaway. This is supposed to be the sound we make when we inhale and exhale, the result being our every breath is in the name of God. 

Here might be a good place to mention I don't really believe in God. I do however believe in something very big and very musical, and I think it's the same thing people reference when they say they've felt God's presence. But I digress. 

I think all of this mythology is a global song of the interaction of conscious minds with the collective unconscious, the living persona's contact with all the long dead father's and mother's of the species. We have the option to stay and play the game for as long as we like, questing and betraying to our hearts content, until we decide to endure the mystic process required to exit the cycle of life and death.  The subconscious will always be pulling to stay, to engage death and choas, resulting in the continuity of species and of life as a whole, creating new kingdoms for the descendants (this choice is always descending, it seems.). The conscious mind may come to find itself open and ready for something beyond the quest, and may decide to trade the cycle for serentity/singularity, resulting in the sacrifice of the attached life. 

Is the intruder /the force/the male searching to change the maiden/the instrument/ the female and in doing so create a Kingdom/song/child  the over-riding fractal that is repeating endlessly throughout humanity’s experiences with the universe?

  

I have no idea. I'm glad I got to work in some music stuff though, I was worried when I starting that I might not be able to follow up on the promise of my last blog. 

Peace

Oceans of Notions

I took a class last spring that put me in a rather interesting thought-thinking state, and at that same time I was also arriving at several important epiphanies in my own personal musical pursuits, and the result was a new appreciation for the world in ways I am still just beginning to comprehend. That sentence was long, and full of p's. Anywho, the summation of said realization is that music is intrinsically connected to the relationship human consciousness has with the universe as a whole, or quite possibly it is the essence of the universe itself, and music is the most direct way our brains can comprehend it.

Strangely, a similar topic was brought up in class for a moment in class on Thursday, and shortly after Professor Sexson said repeatedly, "Somthing is going on here!" Whether by sheer coincidence or something completely different, that phrase is a song lyric of mine. Regardless, I do find myself obsessed with this concept. In fact, those lyrics are followed by "There is something that we forgot how to see. Feel the wind blow, feel the gravity." I wouldn't normally quote myself here or anywhere, but that moment in class made it too hard not to bring up.. Indeed, it is something I believe, and for the sake of needing to blog, I will attempt to justify, and maybe, just maybe, validate my personal beliefs.

Contradiction dominates the human experience. The greatest animal on earth is also consistently trying to annihilate itself, going so far as to fantasize about the event on a scale permeating every major culture I can think of off hand. Humans have decorated the globe with hallmark cards and Bibles expressing goodwill and harmony, yet to actual follow through on such instructions today would be seen as corny, cliche, socially awkward, and particularly in the case of the Bible, following through on all its instructions today would be social suicide.. Humans are their own worst enemy and their own biggest fan, every bit as capable of true greatness and connection as they are ignorance and abomination. They are truly terrified of each other while depending on one another for every. single. thing. Capable of great acrobatics, they often find themselves off balance, separating themselves from each other and their environments.

Perhaps it makes sense then that the experience of human consciousness and all it entails (exploration, creativity, romance, ennui, poop jokes, anguish, etc.) has got to be about the last thing any rational being would predict to be an outcome of all the matter and energy that makes up the universe rippling chaotically through space and time in a massive expansion post-singularity that took place approximately 13.4 billion years ago. Life alone would defy all expectation, as it is the most blatant example of finely tuned order appearing from an originally chaotic system.

Still, life and human consciousness must be seen as a product of the universe, tied by a direct chain of events back to the original chaos, and even further back to the original starting point of singularity. This is where I must depart from rational thinking, as if you could consider these notions examples of rationality, and move into the stranger muso-mythic (yes, I just made that up - musical + mythical) state of mind.

Which I will do in my next blog. Cliffhanger!

Notions on notions

I think there are sacred things in the world. Most of them are just words. On the surface, nothing else has any inherent meaning, and as far as I can tell the universe and all of its contents derive all of their meaning from the words we use to explain them to ourselves and each other.

All of that, of course, is only holds true in a universe where our human consciousness is the only presence actively trying to understand it, which I do not believe to be the case because, well, octopuses. And bonobos. And the Canadian Minister of National Defense says the aliens that actively visit our planet have a lot of things figured out too. However, humans are the example I'm working with because that's what I am, and I guess I'm just lazy like that. But I digress.

 Stranger then, is that for all I can tell, the universe created our language. After all, it created us. The limited understanding of theoretical physics that I can claim to have says that before the Big Bang, all the matter and energy that exists today (your computer, me, you, Jupiter, etc) was in a state of singularity. Indistinguishable, unified, timeless. Then the Big Bang happened and all the would-be contents of the universe dispersed in a 13.4 billion year long dance of chaos of and... well it was just chaos.

The four universal forces (gravity, electromagnetism, the weak and strong nuclear forces) came into play not long after the Big Bang boomed, at which point I suppose you wouldn't have looked particularly crazy for claiming that the newly forming elements would end up joining together in all sorts of combinations, and given the sheer quantity of mass and energy floating around in the universe these days, you might not even seem off your rocker for claiming something like a planet or a sun would form. Hell, most celestial systems, while mind-blowing in scale and beauty, do seem to operate quite logically given the forces at play, or at the very least consistently. If they do at all, then already the initial rule of chaos has been broken, as I assume it would be the moment any kind of universal force came into play. If it were my job to look for some kind of over-arching narrative of some great and profound importance to humanity, here is where I would start my search, the moment chaos produces order.

Granted, I wasn't there. Well, I was, but I didn't look like this. You were there too of course. Every part of our world is ancient, and despite the cool refreshing taste of a Coca Cola on a hot day, you can safely assume all the molecules in your beverage, its aluminum can, your tongue, your brain, and the hot sun have indeed combined before, likely multiple times, and are likely to continue to do so long after you are dead (providing you don't go do something crazy like preserve your body and keep it in a box separate from this whole process. I mean, you'd have to wait until the world blows up to get back in on the fun!). Indeed, as interesting as all the stories of your molecules being momentarily unified with  those of your soda's will undoubtedly be, the stories of what happens to those molecules in between will surely be far more so.

And interesting is a sacred word.

I don't know how long these entries are supposed to be, so I'll stop here in a rather arbitrary fashion. I do have some questions though, if you feel like answering them I'd sure appreciate it.  I'm quite curious.

Can we think outside of our language? Can our language (English) describe all that we experience? Should there be efforts to improve the language/what needs improving?