Would it be completely audacious to claim I know the smile
Conchis shows Nicholas so frequently in the Magus? To say I’ve felt it on my
face?
You head East on Kagy towards Sola. As you approach the
intersection with 11th, a big black SUV runs the red light heading
South, cutting you off and almost smashing into you. You slam on the brakes in
the middle of the intersection, stunned at such reckless behavior. How dare the
driver of the SUV put your life in danger to go get some coffee or whatever the
fuck he’s rushing off for? A complete and total asshole no doubt.
These moments happen all the time, where some stranger’s
selfish actions cause a disturbance your life, leaving you with no explanation
for their behavior, irritated and shaken. To think the driver of the SUV is a
careless asshole would be totally justifiable; people everywhere can be and are
careless assholes. Still, at the end of the day that conclusion is a complete
assumption based off almost no context.
The phone rings. The voice of your son’s friend trembles on
the other line.
“Sam’s hurt. Really bad. I don’t know what to do.”
Without hesitation, you grab your keys and jump in your big
black SUV.
Assuming the driver of the SUV is an asshole requires
creating a myth as to that person’s life in seconds; the Legend of the Jackass.
However, to create an alternate explanation for the driver’s behavior is
equally viable; neither explanation for the scenario breaks any laws of physics
or requires excessive use of imagination.
My point is, if you’re going to go around making assumptions
about the lives of strangers, you might as well take the time to tell the best
story you can in the process. It’s a very silver-lining oriented world-view,
and the positive effects optimism has on a person’s life have been well
documented – less stress, more energy, etc. But that’s not even the best reason
to do it. Why tell yourself a sad, angry story that most likely isn’t true when
you can tell yourself a positive (or as I prefer, absurd) story hinging on the
same moment? Why not take the time to make your life as mythological as
possible? If you’re going to be making up shit, you might as well keep it
interesting.
An individual human being knows almost
nothing. We are here in this impossibly vast universe taking turns telling each
other what’s going on, and thankfully, we probably won't ever get it right on the dot. An infinite
mystery means infinite energy; surrendering to the entropic flow of the
universe does not grant answers, only opportunities to understand one’s own
insignificance in the face of so many questions. Opportunities are signs of
freedom, no matter their nature.
To be the result of a
13.4 billion year old sequence of
impossible connections happening over and over means two things: I am
insignificant, only existing by pure chance, a scope of hazard too big to
comprehend (in a universe that’s every bit as big), and that that exact same
insignificance in the face of such massive and impossible odds makes me and
every other human straight up walking Miracle. The mundane occurrences of human
existence become fascinating from a cosmic lens; the extraordinary become earth
shaking.
Isn’t it a wonderful thing to get cut off in traffic? To
have an opportunity to write reality?
Perhaps he smile comes from contradiction. By knowing nothing we
have the freedom to think anything; the reality I experience is completely open
to my own interpretation. Maybe the smile is the arc of the circle between anagogical
and literal.
Talk of insignificance can quickly turn to nihilism – if we’re
so small, then nothing we will ever do matters! Time to fuck shit up! I know
where the smile comes from! It’s from being drunk and high all the time!
Admittedly, I myself have found myself swimming in the Nihilist
Sea at various times in my life. In a wonderful display of contradiction, it
has always been that same fact, the insignificance of humanity, that pulls me
back out. If we are an imperceptibly insignificant result of hazard, then are
we not also immensely precious? Why throw away the winning lottery ticket if it
falls out of the sky and lands in your hand?
In the end, I think the smile comes from the simple truth
that human existence is fucking ridiculous. Here our eternal souls are sloshing
around in the same fleshy bag as all our guts and excrement. We are walking
miracles who frequently trip over our own feet. It’s hilarious.
So smile, damn it.
A theoretical physicist lives in the mountains to get away
from the noise of the world around him. On his way home from a supply run, he receives
a phone call from his assistant back at his lab.
“I don’t know what happened! The Machine just turned on! It’s
opened a portal to… somewhere! You’ve got to see this!”
The scientist drops his bags and sprints to his big black
SUV.
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